


Rip

by Psyga315



Category: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Genre: Episode: s05e25-26 The Cutie Re-Mark, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, Originally Posted on FimFiction.Net, Pseudo-Suicide Attempt, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-09
Updated: 2015-12-09
Packaged: 2018-05-14 07:33:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5735131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psyga315/pseuds/Psyga315
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Starlight, in a moment's notice, ripped up the only thing that could prevent any irreparable damage from ruining the timeline and by extension, Equestria.</p><p>And she did it in a time where she was too emotionally wrecked to reflect. However, she ends up having some time to think about what she had done. And soon, regret sets in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rip

“How do I know they won't all end the same way?”

“I guess it's up to you to make sure they don't.”

That was the rebuttal that Twilight had given Starlight as she held the paper containing Starswirl’s time travel spell. However, Starlight struggled to rip it, stopping just midway. She had seen the devastation she’d create by stopping the Rainboom. Was it real? If she destroyed the only means of looping back to this exact moment, would she doom Equestria? Would there even be a chance that things will be better in _this_  time loop.

Starlight had so many things looping in her head that she began to tear up. She shook her head.

 _Focus. Forget all the implications and just focus on now._  That was all Starlight could think of now: what’s important right _now_?

Twilight experiencing what it’s like to lose friends? If what Twilight claims is true, then she had practically experienced it a dozen times. By that point, she could just stop and say “Well, lesson learned.”

But no. She couldn’t bear to let _her_  get the moral high ground again. If she gave up here, Twilight would brag on about how friendship is important. No. This time, _she_  will win.

**RIIIIIIIIIIP**

In a moment, the magic scroll was torn in half. Starlight laughed as she let one half flutter off. She didn’t care if Spike managed to grab the half. She’s pretty sure that the magic in the scroll was destroyed. She saw Twilight’s pupils grow extremely tiny. And then she could hear her mutter:

“What have you done?” Starlight didn’t care. She won. That was all that mattered.

“The only thing I could have done. It’s as I said before, a Cutie Mark for a Cutie Mark. Now, where’s that little pony?” Starlight looked around. Soon, she spotted her. The rainbow haired cyan filly flying about and-

Wait, she seems to be stopping… Like there’s a barrier that she’s about to cross…

Or break.

“Nononononononononononono-” Starlight activated her magic and floated towards the Pegasus. She _had_  to stop her.

But alas…

**BOOOOM!**

It was too late.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” As soon as the Rainboom was created, the time portal opened up and she and Twilight were sucked in.

* * *

The portal opened up and spat the two out onto the Cutie Map. Starlight landed on her back as Twilight flew to the edge of the table, before landing in her seat. Starlight just stared up as the portal closed. That was it. No more time looping. The spell’s gone forever.

“I… I was so close…” Starlight murmured. Twilight stayed vigilant as her horn glowed. Considering Starlight, Twilight won’t be surprised if she got up and accused her of distracting her.

But instead, she heard whimpering. Twilight relaxed. She’s seen this before with another unicorn, Sunset Shimmer. A pony who is so utterly defeated, that they are reduced to tears. Twilight smiled. _Now_  Starlight could be reasoned with. Twilight extended a wing towards Starlight and covered her.

“There, there…” Twilight said. Starlight could barely struggle to push the wing off. Instead, she cradled it like a blanket.

“I… I nearly…” Starlight could barely finish her sentence. Twilight cooed to her.

“But you didn’t.”

“But I could have!” Starlight bawled out so loud, it overpowered the sound of the doors opening. And thus, it took the shout of a familiar pony to get Twilight’s attention.

“What the hay is goin’ on here!?” Applejack said. Twilight got up and saw her friends.

“It’s… a long story. Could you give us a moment?” Twilight shrugged.

“A moment… with _her_? Twilight, do you remember the _last_  time we chatted to her?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“I know, but she’s cooperative now! See?” Twilight took her wing off of Starlight.

“I was going to doom Equestria!” Starlight cried.

“… Well, then…” Rarity sheepishly chuckled. “I’ll just go ahead and alert the guards…” Rarity tried to exit, but Fluttershy stopped her with her wing.

“Wait, Rarity! Maybe Starlight’s really turned a new leaf, like with Discord!” Fluttershy said.

“Yeah, and we all know how well _that_  ended!” Pinkie Pie glared. Fluttershy gave a glare of her own.

“Pinkie, that was a _year_  ago.” Fluttershy groaned.

“A year? I thought it was a few months ago.” Rainbow Dash scratched her head.

“Quiet!” Twilight shouted. The five stopped and looked to her. She sighed and looked to Starlight. “Could you wait outside? I need to explain some things to my friends.” She said. Starlight nodded. She got off the map and trotted outside. The five let her pass, though not without looking at her, each with a different look: anger, shock, fear, apathy, worry… As the doors closed, Twilight called for the others to sit at the table.

* * *

Starlight took her time to reflect on what she was about to do. She now thought back to the moment she disregarded: the fact that she caused the doom of Equestria not once, not twice, but multiple times. Starlight never read that hard into time travel. All she just read was “you can go back and do things!”.

When she got the scroll, hitting up Twilight was _not_  her first option. She considered changing her own past. Stop Sunburst from getting his Cutie Mark. Maybe then he wouldn’t have moved to Canterlot. But she worried. She _had_  thought of the Grandfather Paradox. If she stopped Sunburst, it’d lead to her not wanting to time travel, thus negating that very moment.

Plus, she feared a lot for what’d happen… She could have made it so that Sunburst was even worse off than when he _had_ a Cutie Mark. And that’s when her mind shifted back to Equestria’s demise. _She_  caused it. By negating Rainbow Dash’s Sonic Rainboom, she caused eternal night, eternal chaos, eternal tyranny, eternal fire, eternal death… So many eternals. Throughout her time stalking Twilight, she had read up on her exploits and knew of her stopping the very people that she pretty much helped rule Equestria with an iron fist.

She wasn’t sure how time travel actually worked. Yes, everything _could_  be fixed and those other timelines Twilight mentioned are long gone. But… She thought about the chance of them still lingering. Multiverse theory. She was right back to where she started, knowing she brought about a dozen apocalypses for being a petty mare.

Starlight huddled into a fetal position. She was, by far, the most dangerous pony in the world. She overheard the ponies in the room. They seemed to think so too.

It was only a matter of time before she’d be punished. But the worst part is, Starlight knew what her ‘punishment’ would be. She knew how friendly Twilight is just from the moment she comforted her. Her punishment was to have friends. Starlight smiled. Having friends… now _that_  was a good idea… but she continued to think back to when she ripped the paper. Had she stopped Dash…

A dozen different Equestrias, each worse than the last. Surely she would have caused permanent damage. Someone who would carelessly throw away the entire war just for petty revenge should not deserve friend. Twilight would never give her the true punishment that would befit her. A trip to the moon, exile, a stay at Tartarus, _anything_  that those villains got… She wished that on herself.

Then she realized something… She _can_  be punished. But Twilight wouldn’t be the one to punish her.

* * *

“That’s what we’ll do with Starlight then. Spike, let her-” Twilight was about to tell Spike to open the door when she heard screaming…

Starlight’s screaming. Twilight ran out of the room and saw something that she nearly retched at.

Starlight streamed tears as her horn glowed. Not only that, but her Cutie Mark also glowed. It began to peel away like a cheap sticker.

“Starlight! What are you doing!?” Twilight asked.

“I’m… aaaaargh… I can’t be let loose! I have to stop myself!” Starlight grunted.

“No! Don’t do this! We can work this out!” Twilight shouted to her.

“You saw what I was! You know what I’m capable of! You remember the suffering I’ve caused! It’s only fair that I gave myself that same suffering!” Starlight stopped unmarking herself only to breathe before continuing to pull. She gave the same loud scream. Twilight turned around and saw her friends hiding behind the chairs. Well, this was going to be her problem.

“Yes, I know. But I also know that you’re capable of great things!” Twilight said. Twilight couldn’t help but hear the sound of ripping… This wasn’t the sound of normal ripping, like paper. No. This sounded worse than paper being ripped. “You can’t unmark yourself!” From that sound alone and putting two and two together, she realized what would happen.

“I… I can! W-waaaaaaaah… Watch… me…” Starlight began to grit her teeth as her Cutie Mark was nearly off of her flank.

“Without your Cutie Mark, you’ll lack the magic ability to finish the unmarking process! There’s no telling what will happen to you!” Twilight said.

“That’s… okay… I… I should have done this from the beginning… If… If it means I won’t h-have to harm another pony… I don’t care what happens to me!” Starlight screamed once more as she was nearly finished ripping the Cutie Mark off of her. Twilight teared up. She had enough.

“No! Stop!” Twilight’s horn glowed as her signature violet aura engulfed Starlight’s Cutie Mark. The two struggled with the Cutie Mark for five minutes, both of them grunting.

“Let me finish this! I’m doing it for the greater good!” Starlight said.

“No! Your Cutie Mark’s a wonderful thing! To remove it is to remove your destiny!” Twilight said.

“Destiny? What has destiny ever done for me? It ripped my only friend away from me and set me down a dark path…” Starlight said.

“No! That’s only because you _let_  it happen! The destiny for all ponies is to be the best in helping others! Our Cutie Marks just tell us how we can do it! There’s no destiny but what we make of it! So please, Starlight, don’t throw your life away!” Twilight broke down into tears just as her magic reached its apex. She strained her muscles for the final stretch of the spell.

Ponyville soon heard two very loud sounds: a ripping sound that seemed to have come from the depths of Tartarus and the shriek of Starlight Glimmer.

* * *

Beep… beep… beep… beep… beep…

Starlight Glimmer opened her eyes to two soft glowing objects. The first was a green glow to her right. She turned to it and saw a little green dot streaking across the screen in a line. It would occasionally move upwards to the sound of a beep. She turned to her left. She saw a soft cyan glow. She saw two strands. Both of them split into a light and dark shade of blue. She recognized it. It was her Cutie Mark. She reached out for it.

Her hooves touched glass. She looked around as she saw the blanket she had covered herself in: Twilight’s wing. She saw Twilight Sparkle’s head resting on her side. She shuffled about as she woke up. She looked at Starlight.

“H-hey, Starly…” She groggily said.

“W-what happened?” Starlight muttered. Twilight stretched her front legs.

“You were stubborn, I’ll give you that. You managed to unmark yourself.” Twilight said. Starlight flexed her head to see her flank. True to her word, her Cutie Mark was replaced with her signature equals mark.

Save for one large purple star. The equals mark only came to about three quarters, with her star taking up the last.

“I managed to save the rest of it though… And I preserved the rest here.” Twilight tapped onto the jar. “I spoke with the doctors. You’ll make a full recovery. I can even remark you…” Twilight said. She could see Starlight shaking her head. Twilight simply smiled. “But I think we can both have what we want. You want to be punished, and I just want you to forgive yourself. Your Cutie Mark seems to indicate your talent for preforming magic that’s even stronger than Starswirl’s. However, with only a third of it, you are able to do as much magic as an average unicorn.”

“What… What does _that_  mean?” Starlight blinked.

“You’re normal as far as unicorns go, now. If my theory proves correct, with one strand, you’ll be just as strong as me when I first became a Princess, and with the second strand, you’ll be yourself.” Twilight said.

“I’d rather not have any magic at all. It’s done nothing but ruin my life and the lives of every pony I meet.” Starlight said.

“That’s the problem. Magic is an integral part of Equestria. It’s also integral to friendship as well. Regardless of what you think, friendship _is_  magic. But… You don’t have to be afraid.” Twilight stroked Starlight’s hoof. “You’re in need of guidance. I don’t want you to live the rest of your life being afraid of your powers just because you let your emotions get the better of you. I want you to learn that you can make Equestria a better place. I can teach you.” Twilight said.

“You… teach me?” Starlight asked.

“Yes. And when I… No… When _you_  feel like you’re ready, I’ll give you one strand. And then I’ll give you the other when you feel confident.”

“You’d do that… for me?” Starlight nearly began to shed tears.

“Yes. Let that be your first lesson: friends help each other out.” Twilight got up. As she saw Starlight genuinely smile, she smiled herself. “If you want, I know a couple of ponies who are _very_  eager to help you find out the true meaning of your Cutie Mark. I’ll warn you though, they’re still fillies, so they’re trying to get the hang of their _own_  Cutie Marks.” Twilight asked.

“I… I’m not sure. I… I don’t want to hurt them.” Starlight said.

“You won’t. Trust me.” Twilight said. There was a brief moment of pause before Starlight spoke up.

“O… Okay… I’ll try.” Starlight said.

“Good.” Twilight smiled. She trotted away from the room. “Get some rest, okay, Starly?” Starlight struggled to go to sleep. “That’s not an order.” Twilight said.

“Okay.” Starlight said. As Twilight left the room, Starlight spoke up. “Twilight?” Twilight stopped and turned around. “Sorry… for everything.”

“It’s okay…” Twilight said.

“And… thank you.” Starlight said.

“You’re welcome.” Twilight smiled and got out of the room. Starlight, for the first time in a long while, had a nice, long rest.


End file.
